Um, they arent really pleasant. But I am getting them sorted out, so yeah.

The b-day party of my ex roomie with the COKE a while back is still causing problems with some of my friends. The guy that was endorsing it got married, and was stupid in doing it, only knew the person a month, and it seems like he forced her into it. He has been endulging in the habit almost nightly or semi nightly for the past few weeks, and his wife is apparently with child, and SHE is doing the coke as well. The baby, if its even carried to term since she isnt supposed to be able to concieve, since she JUST had a baby that died a day after the birth... and fucked up her uterous in doing so... but the child will be born a crack baby...

Many of her friends and my friends from school are worried for her, since she seems to be tossing her life away so we are all stressed about that, and he is keeping most of the people away from her.

Around the time of the marriage, my ex roomy got kicked out of his appartment since he was the straight man that fought against bringing drugs into the appartment, against the wedding, and against alot of the shit the bday boy was doing. Him and his brother were kicked out of the appartment while his brother was still in boot camp, and their stuff was held hostage. For back rent. One roomy, and stoner boy and his wife remained.

Stoner boy, didnt pay rent for 6 months, he was sitting on his ass after he got canned, and it was the others that were bringing most of the money. Since jobs dont like them, they had a problem getting most of the money together, so they were behind.

Around the time of the wedding, Stoner boy left a message on his ex gfs blog page, saying that she was fat, ugly, and should die. That she should kill herself. She is annorexic and stick thin. She was put into the hospital just a month or so back for not eating... And she opposed the wedding because they hadnt talked in 2 months and HE told her that they would be together forever... and he didnt even break up with her or leave a note or anything.

Well, the two roomies that were kicked out are moving to washington to be with their mom and to go back to camp, marines and all. The guy that was in boot camp, got out, had no place to go, went here to collect what he could of his stuff, and then is going back. Except he keeps trying to get me to join up for the army... like that would ever happen.

Meanwhile, the stoner boy and the last roomie, and the wife, got kicked out of the appartment. The land lady let them go without paying back shit, like back rent or something. They just had to be out, and leave the keys on the table. To make matters more spiffy... there was about a hundred or 2 hundred knife holes in the wall, someone took a hammer to a section of wall that reached from the kitchen to the living room, doors were broken off the hinges in the closets and bedrooms... and the bathroom was in disrepair. Poor lady...

And somehow I was elected to keep an eye on things... fuck... I am just gonna let this slide, but this has been a constant stressor for the past few months. And I am not a baby sitter.

On to other matters.

Several school friends are fucked up recently, either with emotional problems or other things. And some of them are ditching me and I dont blame them. I am a bit of a buzz kill since I am so stressed out and everything.

My friend is in town and I found out that not only is he wanting to hang out with me and everything... one of the reasons he is hanging out with me is to help him sort out some problems.

My ex's that I am still on good terms are all emo, and depressed and stressed... and I am trying my best to help them.

Its the combination of holidays, family, and other factors that are making them so close to entering a mental hospital, or kill themselves. Its really sucky, and shitty... and I dont like it at all. I loved these people, and I still do. And here they are writing suicide notes and shit like that.

My Roomie friend that got kicked out of his place to live, and is going to be moving to Washington state actually, to be with his mom. Isnt going to be back for a year and a half, and he was like a brother to me. And to make matters worse, I cant seem to find the ability to go see him before he leaves...

Many of my other friends are going through relationship troubles, as well as myself. But mostly I am just trying to stay out of them. Too much drama of sorts, involved with it. If I get into one more relationship before new years... I will have been in 21 relationships... its just too much and many of the reasons I have been in relationships are for the wrong reasons. I was filling a void where the first break up, which lasted almost half a decade, ripped me open. I bounced from bad relationship to bad relationship and then the good ones, that felt like they would actually turn into something good... I messed up to stop feeling something. I didnt want toget hurt again.

Some of my other friends, many of them that are on the chat rooms I go to are very depressed lately and havent been coming in as much because of it. Which kinda worries me. I dont feel like talking on this, because frankly, its none of your business. I am talking about most of my problems, or people that never agreed to keep anything secret. These things are secret. But damn, this is like, one of the biggest stressors in my life right now.

And I am finding it harder and harder to deal with all the stress I am taking on, and help them as much as I possibly can. I feel like I am coming apart at the seems at times, and I cant really handle it. I am questioning my ability to help people as well as whether what I am doing is even worth it because so few of the people I do help, seek other outside forms of help, or get better...

My parents are getting into fights with me more, but I am putting a lid on it before it explodes, and letting the steam off slowly, so that is good. Most of the fights are caused from other problems which are putting them on edge.

I am really really behind on my christmas shopping, and I am trying to figure things out with that... and I have almost no funds to do it with. Normally I wouldnt stress at all... since I am not a big gift giver, but now I have all these people BUYING me stuff... and its making me uncomfortable since
I feel obliged to buy them something back...

And then of course... there is the almighty fact that my brother is in the hospital. Again. For roughly the same reason as last time, and he "might" be going to rehab because of it. He is an alcoholic and is depressed because of his relationship troubles. He is
drinking himself to death. He just got out of the hospital with acute alcohol poisoning. We had an intervention for him, and he is going to be doing better, but it was so fucking stressfull... we didnt realize that if we had not said something TONIGHT he was going to move to Ohio where he probably would have gotten fucked over, or died.

Oh... my family relationship problems are fun... since I am friends or relatives with both sides... so I am trying to make both sides feel better and all... and I am trying to sort that bag of snakes out, without getting my nuts ripped off and handed to me

Sounds fun yes?